Monthly Archives: September 2009

i think i’m in love…


its like all the old familiar cliche’s

we met while i was otherwise engaged

had a running flirtation

and unkowingly fell head over heels in love.

i think it happened

in between the muffled conversations, the adventures of hailing a taxi cab,

the soft wind thats created in roundabouts,

the splashes in puddles of rain on the city side walks,

the ease of which you welcomed me in, in the alleys, corners and sides of the tucked away gems

the sparkling lights and the giggles

the bites of bagels, pizza and unspoken confidence of knowing in the midst of a million people, faces and things there’s always a place for dreams 

New york, I think i’ve fallen for you and never saw it coming

Tagged , , ,

though i walk through the valley, you are there. you go before me….

soo i heard a pastor once say, “if you feel like all hell has broken loose and you are coming up against opposition after oppostition, stumbling block after stumbling block… you’re in the right place!” huh? does that make any sense? he went on to say that you’re facing all these things because you are exactly where God wants you to be and doing what he wants you to do and that comes against the enemy! WELL according to that definition I have been in a war of sorts (financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually) ever since this month started. which is funny because i actually started to do what i was supposed to do: i joined a theology class, taking accountability, growing and embracing my gift (went to the Isreal and New Breed Deeper Level conference which i will continue to talk about until another life altering/marking thing happens to me)….and the onslaught came: sore throat/flu like symptions, work obligations-new contract means sign a thousand papers and take tests all over again, personal issues, SERIOUS checking account overdraft , lost airline bag, $100+ in transportation fees and to and from the airport and responsibilities when i just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry BUT i reached out and HE met me every time.

Life is REALLY good, hard but good! i am reminded of the old saying that goes, “he didn’t say it would be easy but that he would never leave us nor forsake us”. and i think Jenny Simmons, yes i mention her often, says it best in her new blog note entitled ‘Calamities’:

Life is good. Well, not really. Really, life is not good. It is so hard right now. And I have cried every tear under the sun. But, thank you God that you make all things new. I run, yet I do not grow weary. Well, at least not weary enough to simply kill over and die.
I walk through the waters and rivers, but I do not drown. I get that water up my nose and it burns like I laughed to0 hard and sucked diet coke up my schnauzer; but I don’t drown.
I go through the fire, but then, in the flames I look and see that there is someone else in the flames with me. And neither of us are burned or consumed.
For you, my gracious savior are with me. You are the Holy one. You know me. You call me by name. You have given things and sacrificed greatly so that, I, your child, may bring you and you alone glory in the midst of my suffering. So that you may be praised… you make streams in the desert and you make a way in the wasteland. Even if the stream is a pretty fall pumpkin or a little baby that inches herself around the house in her sleep like a dying cockroach. You bring beauty from my ashes and introduce joy into my suffering. You put a smile on my face when despair is fighting to win my attention. You put perspective in my heart when I am feeling overwhelmed.
My own paraphrase of Isaiah 43.
And you faithfully, oh so faithfully, send people into my life that speak your words of hope over me at just the right moment (that moment is usually about two minutes before I sit all the guys down to tell them I am quitting to be a real mom, English teacher, and perhaps cheer leading coach who has her nights and weekends free. It is usually one moment before I say to God, “Thanks but no thanks. You got the wrong girl. And I got the wrong God. This sucks. I’m out.” And it is usually a few moments after another blow…or before another blow… or during another blow… it is constant) He finds me and reminds me of His Holiness at just the right moment. He reminds me that He is neither dead nor fictional; He is the very breath that keeps me going and gives me reason to exist.
Your love is all consuming when the world seeks to consume me.
So tonight, I am grateful for simple, little, silk threads of hope and light that dangle in front of my eyes and whisper in my ears as I climb a mountain and trudge a valley that I have never been in before…
Oh but HE HAS. He has met me here. And he will meet you where you are too. In fact, I promise he has gone before you, made a way, and waits to welcome you upon arrival.
Maybe with a lei. That’s what he would do in Hawaii.
Tagged , ,

for your name

Hillsong’s latest project entitled simply Faith+Hope+Love

My morning and today anthem is ‘For your name’! enjoy!

We got a new hope all because of the cross
Saved by the grace you have given to us
We got a new song
All the nations will sing oh-oh oh-oh.

Chorus (Part 1):
For Your name shout in all the Earth
Great above our lives light of our salvation

Verse 3:
For Your Glory we will give all we are
All our lives for the love of Your son
We got a new song now that we are redeemed
Oh-oh oh-oh

Tagged ,

it remains but a seed {John 12:23-25}

John 12:23-25 (The Message)

24-25“Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. [unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.(NIV)] In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.

Future Husband,

I think I have done you and I both a disservice by not doing a couple of things. First, I think I have focused on you and your coming and subsequently put my life on pause and the light of my Life put in the back seat. Instead of , “delighting myself in the Lord” and trusting “he will give me the desires of my heart” and “seeking first the KINGdom and his righteousness, and all these things(desires of my heart) will be given to you as well”.

I have not kept my eyes on Jesus and neither I have done anything with what HE has put in my hand and heart. I have only just begun to come out of the comotose like phase I was in and returning to my first love. its been overwhelming but my heart is full and oh is HE faithful to meet us.

Secondly, I realized my heart is to be prepared to be a dwelling place for God and then and ONLY then out of that will come a place where you will find a home and a friend as well. I have thought about all the things I’d want for you to be and that would capture my heart:

 1. I want him to LOVE LOVE LOVE God more than he would ever love me: i.e. read/study the word, worship with abandon, serve in the house of the Lord

2. I want him to have friends who are seeking to live lives of righteousness that brings a smile to God’s face..challenge the ordinary

3. compassionate/ kind/ hospitable

4. strong, passionate….not shy about going after what they want

a. not hot and cold (will be forward about their affections once they have prayed and sought guidance regarding it)

5. honors their mom and dad

6. has good friendships

7. is a giver

8. is loving and affectionate

9. humble and honest

10. faithful

And I realized that these are all the things I want to be said of me as well. So there you go! I am going off to set my eyes on His KINGdom and His righteousness. Know that though I may not talk to you or about you for a while, I still care for you and desire to join with you one day but my “Hope is in [my] SAVIOR’s love” and all my energy, affections and attention will go to him wholely!



Tagged , ,