As I rode in the back seat of the car on the way to thai chili, i picked up the essence magazine in the back and began to browse and read and found this article called ‘Last words’ about a man named nathaniel brooks who “says his silence killed his 20 year marriage”. WOW! what a headline…i had to continue reading.
He said, he and his wife ran into some problems because he felt she was putting her work, her own salon business, ahead of him and the family and after he brought it up once and they argued. he decided to never bring it up again. he kept his feelings about that topic to himself and ultimately he began to keep ALL of his feelings to himself and it got the point where they didn’t really talk about anything anymore. eventually they got divorced.
while in the court house about to sign the papers, he says he was “filled with regret. i thought about all the what-ifs, like if we’d each tried harder to communicate what made us unhappy or if we had gone to counseling.”
moral of the story: we weren’t made for disposable or shallow friendships. it takes a lot of work to maintain a good relationship and work past differences and misunderstandings and still continue to be happy and together. proverbs 27:17 says, ” 17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” and i don’t know if you know but when iron is rubbed up against each other there are sparks/irritation but refinement and smoothing out rough edges comes.
advice: continue to communicate. never stop trying to learn about each other. don’t let offense keep you walled up. continue to share your heart with each other. learn how to speak eachother’s love language and be dutiful in protecting your relationship/friendship.
Great advice this monday morning eh?!
via essence magazine april 2009 edition. article: last words as told to Brian Miller