I know everyone has something to say to you and about you in light of the tragedy of your marriage ending. I am the product of divorce and know first hand what it means to both parties to no longer be in a marriage. Not only does it make a dent in your life financially but emotionally and spiritually as well.
I want to say that I’m glad that you chose to listen to your heart and discontinue the marriage. I just want to know why you drowned out that voice until now? You knew without a shadow of a doubt, hell we all knew during the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner when you tried to run away from practicing being given away to kris, before hand that this relationship was shakey. Some people like to call it your conscience. I call it the holy spirit. And if you get quiet enough and obediant enough to listen and heed, it would have saved you from a hell of a lot of this drama. not so much the pain but definitely the drama. I do think its brave of you to finally be honest with yourself but I think it was cowardly to wait until you’re married to then come to that realization. I think you did yourself and kris a disservice by not being honest and carrying on with the wedding. And please oh please don’t blame your latent honesty on being scared of disappointing people. at some point Truth and doing the right thing needs to take precedence over emotions and people pleasing.
See I know what it is to get caught up in the hysteria of man-marriage-babies = the american dream and at some point he asks and you dive head first into YOUR plans and try to fit him in along the way. YOU wanted to be with a man who wanted you regardless of if he was RIGHT for you. and did RIGHT by you. YOU wanted to be married, its all you ever talked/dreamed about since you were young. YOU wanted a big lavish wedding to celebrate..well..you. And whether you confirm or not YOU made money off of that wedding [you sold the rights of the pictures to people magazine]. And thats ok we all do want those things…that fairy tale relationship and wedding. but sometimes our plans aren’t the best plans for us. what we should want is a God honoring relationship and God ordained/blessed marriage.
Unfortunately I think YOU knew all along he wasn’t right for you. it was that sinking feeling. the uncomfort. the way you couldn’t communicate even if you tried. And the reason I can speak so clearly about this is because I’ve been there. I wanted to be dated. I wanted to be in a relationship and despite the nudgings of the holy spirit, I continued on with something that from the beginning should have troubled me but unlike you I finally stopped and listened to the holy spirit before it was too late, took a stand and HE spared me further hurt and further embarassment.
I hope you know I say this with love. I’m a kardashian fan but somebody really has to tell you the truth. and the truth sucks but hopefully you can turn to God and work on developing a relationship with him so a lot of your hurts can be healed and you can walk into the next phase of life and next relationship smarter and more whole.